Knives Hurt Worse
by xxxAbbeyDawn
Summary: -complete-This goes along with Ex.#1668369. Iggy and Max still exist, this is what's going on with them through all of the Fang/Fi lovey stuff AU, Just because I'm twisted that way
1. Chapter 1

I've wanted to write this for a while. This is what was going on with Max and Iggy, when Fang and Fi were doing their thing, and it helps explain a bit that'll happen in the next few chapters. I'll make it a little side story to go along with Ex. 1668369.

Disclaimer: If you've found this on fanfiction, chances are I don't own Max and the flock. Aww, sadness.

**The Knife**

**Chapter One**

Iggy was healed. The flock was fine. Another day in a house belonging to a mutant. These days I just watched time pass. I didn't do anything. I felt nothing, my eyes saw nothing. My whole body was on autopilot.

People walked in the door, out the door. Giggles, hugs, laughing, talking. I just went along with it. Iggy was the only one who treated me strangely. The only one who noticed.

The way, that when everyone was out of the room, I would pull out one of the knives and twirl it. Watching the sharp edge glimmer. I would try. Oh, yes, I would try.

I would put that point up to my arm and see how far in I would push it this time. I never got far. Iggy always found me. He smiled as usual, but he would always sit down with me and pull out his own knife.

He would skim his finger down the edge and slit his wrist. Only a little at first. I was scared for him. He kept cutting deeper. Not deep enough for death, but deep enough for blood.

Deep enough. I didn't like watching the blood leak out. So I never stuck the knife in too far. Iggy was the only serious one. I think he really wanted to die. I didn't know why. He just did.

I knew why I kept twirling that knife. I loved Fang. I loved him more than anything else in the world. But I hadn't told him that. I never even let it show.

I should have, though. If I wanted Fang, I should have said so. I knew he liked me, but not how far he would go for me. He didn't go far. He thought I didn't like him. So he moved on.

On to the mutant girl. Fi, she calls herself. She was asleep for almost two weeks and I actually missed her. I was happy when she was back.

Until she and Fang got together. Hugging, laughing, kissing, right in front of me.

The way he looked at her. The way they looked together.

They were right. They were supposed to get together. But I had always wanted Fang to look at me, hug me, kiss me. I wanted to kiss him.

Instead I settled for the knife. My best friend. He would help me, taking away the pain, if only until I stopped bleeding.

Best Friends Forever.

I cut myself. Deeper and deeper. I watched as the blood leaked, slithering its way down my arm.

No matter what the flock was doing, laughing, eating, sleeping, I would go with it, sliding my finger down the knife in private.

Fake smiles. I gave them away like balloons at a fair. Fake, fake, fake. I sat and twirled the knife. I watched it glitter.

The light shone off it, rippling like an ocean. Blood slip-sliding its way down the blade.

We just pulled our sleeves down. Covering the cuts up. Like we needed to keep them a secret. A secret Angel already knew.

She knew how we drank in the pain, letting it cover us when we cut deeper. She asked me to stop. I ignored her. She finally talked sense into Iggy, making him drop the knife and stop cutting.

I didn't stop. The pain, the knife, were my best friends. The best a girl could have.

Iggy asked me to stop. He threw the knife. He pushed me. He showed me his scars from the cuts, showed me my own, bigger, longer, scars. He cried. I cried. But I didn't stop.

I cut myself, again, and again, with that shining knife. The knife dropped from my hand and I sobbed, collapsing on the stairway. Iggy, my knight in shining armor, ran to me and held me, he held me as I sobbed, blood seeping from my wrist and tears coming from my eyes.

But I still felt nothing. Nothing but a little happiness when I felt Iggy next to me when I woke, then a dull pain in my wrist.

I couldn't get her to stop. No matter what I did, I couldn't get Max to stop cutting. She kept picking that knife back up, cutting deeper. She was getting too close. Too close to death.

I had run away from it. Thank God Angel was there to talk to me. Max was beyond talking to.

So I held her, close as I could without hurting her wrist. It hurt to see her, crying and bleeding. I wished she would stop.

Fi was here, she could probably help, but I didn't want her to know. I didn't want her to know about me, I didn't want her to know about Max.

Because if she knew, she'd know how I felt about Max. I loved her, even as she loved Fang. At first, I thought, Fang and my sister, me and Max. Well, Max never got around to thinking I liked her. I liked her more than like, and more than she would ever know.

I knew why she cut herself. It must have hurt her too much to see Fang and my sister, hear them laugh together.

But I guess she couldn't feel that I was crying, holding her close, wishing I could tell her. I took the knife, pushed her away from it. I didn't want to hurt her, but I didn't want her to hurt herself.

She didn't hear what I whispered in her ear while she slept.

I love you

I heard. I heard every word. But I wasn't ready. I didn't know when I would be. For now I dropped the knife, letting it clatter to the floor next to Iggy's feet. I hugged him, and left him on the stairs, staring at my bloodstained knife. I sat on Angel's bed and hugged her, squeezing her tight. She understood, hugging me back and crying.

I told her not to tell anyone and she looked at me, tears in her eyes, and said she wouldn't dream of it.

An hour later, you would have found me and Angel, squeezed together, doing a thousand piece jigsaw puzzle.

Max was back! Jigsaw puzzles, tag, games, she was back! I knew her thoughts, but I ignored the leftover thoughts from the knife. The one that she had called her best friend.

After we cried, Max and I did a jigsaw puzzle, one with kitties. Halfway before we were done, though, Iggy came in. He walked in the door, asking for Max.

His voice was sad, but happy at the same time. He held a knife, blood dripping off the tip. Max got a worried look on her face, and got up. She walked to Iggy and took the hand holding the knife. She took the knife and threw it to the floor, the knife embedding itself in the floor at an angle.

I looked at the knife, shaking for a moment, and back to Max. She was holding Iggy's hand and he opened it, blood shining in his palm. There was blood, dripping down his arm, snaking around it, and falling to the floor.

Max started crying again and Iggy held her, walking towards the bathroom. I followed and helped get bandages. Max was crying too much and Iggy was bleeding too much, so I helped bandage his hand.

I left them, crying again, and flopped down in the middle of the hallway, staring at the ceiling.

I cried. I admit it. I cried when I saw the _M_ Iggy had carved into his hand. It was straight, perfect, and so deep that the scar would never totally disappear. It bled like crazy.

Crazy blood, dripping until I couldn't stand it anymore and turned my face into Iggy's shirt.

He had gone back to wearing short sleeved shirts when he stopped cutting. He didn't need to hide the cuts he didn't make anymore, and the scars were almost gone.

It scared me when he had stumbled into Angel's room, nearly passed out from blood loss. I was too stunned to do anything but cry as Angel and Iggy wrapped it, cleaning up the blood.

Iggy was passed out on the edge of the bathtub, his arm with the bad hand around me. I cried and cried until his shirt was soaked. He came to, a few hours later, his arm tightening protectively around me.

"I-Iggy?"

He moaned, his hand curling into a fist and straightening back out. "Max…"

I pushed him into a sitting position and got up to turn on the sink. His good hand shot out and grabbed my leg. His face turned towards me, and if he wasn't blind, it would have shown a pleading look on his face.

"Don't…leave me…"

I sat back down, holding Iggy. His arms slid around me, hugging me tightly. I shook my head. I wasn't sure where Iggy and I were going, but I wasn't going to leave him.

"I'm not going to leave you, Iggy. Never."

I knew, then, when the words popped out of my mouth. I wasn't going to leave him. No matter how much I wanted death, I would stay. I would stay, at least until Iggy left. Then I was free for death, life, whichever I chose. And for the first time in weeks, I hoped that choice didn't come soon.

I stopped faking everything. I was back, and Angel needed me. Angel needed me, Iggy wanted me to be here. I wanted to be here, and I was going to stay.

I realized that in the whole time I had been busy cutting myself the world had continued, leaving me in its dust, still trying to catch up. Fang and the mutant girl were closer than ever, I was semifriendish to her, from having minimal reactions to things she had said, she obviously came to the conclusion we were friends. I was willing to give it a try, as long as she and Fang didn't get too kissy kissy in front of me.

It was unavoidable and I still felt a pang of pain come through me when I saw him look at her. It just didn't hurt as much. The knife had hurt more.


	2. Chapter 2

Second chapter, obviously. I like, kinda, and I hope you do too. Of course, this is for my benefit, not yours. I'm going to focus more on this story, so anyone who reads this will know the future. Psychicness!

Disclaimer: You're psychic, so you know the deal.

**Chapter Two**

"Hey, Max?" Angel looked at me with a thoughtful frown on her face.

"Yeah? What is it?" I knew what was coming. I could take the strangeness level.

"Do you think ants have presidents, govnurs, that stuff?" She had put a lot of thought behind that one. It was exactly like all the other weird questions she had been asking Iggy and me. Stuff like 'Do you think cows mind us taking their milk?'

"Governors. I don't think so. I think all they have is the queen." Of course, I wasn't the official on ant colonies, or groups, whatever they're called.

I had stopped with the knife. I didn't even think about it too often. Not that often, but enough to wish for it sometimes. But then I would remember Iggy and Angel cared, wanted me to stop. The rest of the flock would have cared, too. If they had known.

"How do you think elephants got their trunks?" The ever so persistent Angel wasn't letting up.

"I think that you ask too many strange questions."

"Really Max. Show us all how smart you are." Iggy smirked as he said the words, making fun of me. I stuck my tongue out at him, even though he couldn't see it. Angel whispered in his ear and he laughed.

I didn't know what was so funny but it was about me. I turned around and set to work on gluing Angel's puzzle together. Piece by piece I glued and painted over until it was bright and shiny.

Angel was all over the room, her hyper little self. Iggy had given her coffee, the idiot. He was listening to the Mythbusters on Discovery Channel blow things up. Fang and Fi were off doing their thing, and Gazzy was up in Nudge's room, doing his thing.

I don't know why, but Nudge was grounded. I had grounded her, and I had no idea why. She was pretty mad though, so I guessed I had been justified in the decision. Iggy seemed to agree.

I blew on the glue one last time, a habit from the old house with Jeb. Angel helped me pick up the jigsaw, each of us carrying an end and the middle sagging dangerously. We hurried over to the table and dropped it like it was the hottest thing in the world.

The tv was still blasting, they were blowing up a boat with fireworks. Angel sat down in a huge old armchair and I had two options.

Either sit down next to Iggy and have a view of the tv, or sit across the room in the only other chair and not have a view.

I picked the view.

Iggy smiled slightly when I jumped over the couch and landed with a thud on the cushion. We were close enough that our pants were touching, which was still weird, even though I knew I liked him. I was still a little nervous over the whole thing, I admit.

So I scooted over about a foot, almost on the armrest. I watched as the boat was blown to bits, scattering debris, and mentally compared it to my current situation in life. I was still picking up the bits.

Iggy frowned and leaned towards me. He took a hand off of his hot chocolate and set it on the cushion, next to mine. My fingers inched their way over to his slowly until our fingertips were touching. I skimmed my fingers over the top of his and lifted his hand. I lay my hand under his and he grabbed mine, our fingers sliding together.

I relaxed. This. This was more right than it had been when I had held Fang's hand. It felt right, and I felt safe.

I scooted over, closer to Iggy but not as close as we were earlier. That was still too close for me. Iggy smiled again. We all settled down for a good long night of watching Adam and whatshisface blow things up.

(0.0) Iggy (0.0)

I smiled. Max was more relaxed, I could tell. She watched Mythbusters, my mind was caught by other things.

Like when was I going to get her to trust me more. Trust was important to me. I had to trust the people who told me where things where, she had to trust me. How could I get her back to the Max I knew? She was still slightly distant from us, staring off into space and watching my knife while I cooked.

I was never going to see. I knew that. How was I going to keep her away from the knives? There were so many in the house. The kitchen was full of them. I had to know where thay all were, and I keep getting distracted by Angel and her freaky questions.

Max. I heard her clothes shift towards me and suddenly she was leaning against me. I let go of her hand and put my arm between her waist and the couch. Her head was lying on my shoulder and I could smell her strawberry shampoo hair. She put her other hand on my leg, doodling lightly.

The whole trust thing was picking up pace.

(0.0) Max (0.0)

I drifted off to sleep a while after Angel did. I dreamed of milkshakes. They were towering above me like the trees outside. They started to bubble over and attack me, tidal wave after tidal wave.

I was shaken awake by a frowning Iggy.

"The heck were you dreaming about Max?! You were shouting all over the place about milkshakes so loud I had to cover Angel's ears so she wouldn't wake up!" His whisper was loud, but still a whisper.

I was scared so bad I was fully awake. Iggy's hair was slightly mussed up, like he had kept running his hands through his hair. His blind eyes were wide and he was still holding my arms tightly. I held him, trying to calm him down a little. His heart slowed and he stuck his face in the crook of my neck, lightly.

"Ok. Let's get Angel to bed and then let's talk some, kay?" I looked at him and he nodded.

We got up and I shook Angel awake, talking about animal parades. When she fell back asleep Iggy gave up, picking her up. I walked with him, stroking Angel's hair.

He almost dropped Angel at the top of the stairs when he tripped on the top step, catching himself with a hand on the floor. He pushed himself back up and stumbled a little to the room Angel and I shared. I opened the door for him, and he nodded his thanks and lay Angel carefully on the bed.

I set to work and pulled off her clothes, gently pulling a pair of nightclothes on her. Iggy sat down carefully on my bed. I dragged the covers out from under her with Iggy's help and tucked her in. She turned over on her side to face the wall and huddled closer to her stuffed animal.

Iggy just sat and didn't say anything. I sat down close to him and his hand fell off his lap. He turned it palm up and I wove our fingers together. I leaned into him and lay my head on his shoulder. He sighed, a long breath let out.

Angel's questions were getting to me. Elephants and president ants ran through my head, distracting me from Iggy.

The next thing I knew Iggy was waking me up to a dark grey sky, filled with fog. We tiptoed down the stairs and Iggy started breakfast. I watched him hurry around, fridge to counter to pan to counter to fridge. Every time he walked by me at the table he brushed his hand through my hair or down my arm.

The flock and Fi came down, Fang hugging Fi. It didn't hurt anymore, so all I gave was a smile and a hello. Angel hugged me tight and Gazzy and Nudge kept telling jokes to Iggy. Iggy couldn't stop laughing, and I watched as he set breakfast on the table and sat down next to me.

Fi asked if we all wanted to go on a picnic and everyone semiagreed, no's coming from Gazzy and Nudge, Angel yelling at them that we were going whether they liked it or not.

It was fine with me, Fi taking over. Fang still looked like second-in-command, like he and I were. She was okay for the job, I was better. But I had taken a vacation to lalaland, and I still wanted to recover. No more pressure, no more knives.


	3. Chapter 3

I like this one. Yeah. First Kiss! Awesomeness...

Disclaimer: Words do not describe my huge jealousy for James Patterson. The bugger owns this story if you'll believe it!

**Chapter Three**

**First Kiss**

Iggy avoided me, walking with Gazzy instead. I ended up with Angel, her and her talkative self. The whole walk she couldn't stop with the odd questions. I gave her vague answers while I watched Iggy and Gazzy.

Gazzy was smiling and laughing, but Iggy kept turning his face towards my footsteps. He was trying to ignore it, I could tell by the way he drifted in and out of the conversation. I sighed, I wanted to be with Iggy but I didn't know what I was ready for yet.

We finally found a clearing and I sat down with Angel and Nudge while we ate and Gazzy was practically glued to Iggy. He must have found some better explosive or something. Nudge was going on and on about faeries, Angel kept up the freaky questions, and I was, for some reason, not bored to death.

"What do you think would happen if all the cars broke down at once?" Angel gave me a wide-eyed look.

"I think that the car companies didn't do their job very well," I smiled at her and pulled her up onto my lap. She laughed and wrapped her arms around my neck. She started drifting off to sleep with her head on my shoulder so I started to clear up.

Nudge was still babbling and I felt no need to shut her up so she kept on babbling. She had only eaten two of her sandwiches when Iggy and Gazzy came over.

Iggy was nervously running his hands through his hair and his blind eyes were seeking something. Gazzy was too excited and nervous, nothing he said was even slightly rational. It was like he had gone second degree mad in an hour.

Nudge clammed up when she saw how seriously freaked out Gazzy was. Iggy started to talk over Gazzy in his soft voice but Gaz was too jumbly and mixed up. Iggy put his hand on Gazzy's shoulder and pushed down. He sat almost immediately and Iggy started off slowly.

"Fang and Fi are gone," I jumped to my feet, Angel falling off, "Calm down, Max, we'll just start a search and rescue."

I was still standing and I almost yelled in his face. "How can you be so calm!! We need to go NOW!!They could be dying for all you know!" My wings came out, hitting Nudge in the face. I flew off madly, in a blind panic. I had to find them.

I flew in circles, crazy and off kilter. I had my eyes glued to the ground so well I didn't notice Iggy barrel into me. I started falling but Iggy kept his wings out, holding me as best as he could. We lowered down to the ground. He stood, legs spread and a hard, stern, look on his face.

"Max. Breathe. Calm. Down." He held my arms so tight I couldn't move even if I wanted to and his milky eyes bore into mine. I breathed, slowly, trying to calm my hammering heart.

"Ok." I said it slowly and loudly, to tell myself it really was ok. You know, losing a member of the flock (AGAIN!!) and a maybe joiner!!

Iggy 'looked' at me, I guess assessing the situation, whether I was going to run or not.

"You have to stay calm for the flock. If we want to find them we have to find them quickly, and you're slowing us down. Max..." He let the thought trail off, like he was uncertain about saying whatever he wanted to say.

He _was_ right. I had to stay strong for the flock. For Iggy. For _me_. The tears couldn't stay. I broke down and stood there, wiping my eyes with my sweatshirt sleeve. Iggy pulled me close and hugged me, an arm around my shoulders and one around my waist. He bent his head and stuck it in my hair, rocking me like a little kid needing comfort. I cried into his shoulder for a few minutes and my mind snapped back to the present. We still had a flock member and a half missing.

I wiped my eyes, scrubbing away the tear stains.

Iggy kissed my forehead and I kissed his cheek.

"Thanks..for.." He pushed off the ground before I could finish my half-sentence, aiming for the clearing. I wiped my sad face off and flew after him.

(0.0) Iggy (0.0)

I couldn't let her go on like that. She'd rip herself to shreds. And she still needed time for god's sake. I flew for the clearing. Hopefully Nudge, Angel, and Gazzy were still there. If not, we'd have to look for them too.

I thought back. Should I have stayed? Was it so horrible that I didn't want to hear her like this? It felt like I was watching her with the knife again. I had gotten over it, moved past it. But she might not be.

I rubbed my fingers over the M on my palm. I could already feel the new skin, a little slippery and smooth. It would be there almost forever.

It was worth it. Almost. But she wasn't trusting me much yet. Not much at all.

I was glad she was getting back to her normal Max self. The only one who knew how shattered she was, was me. Angel thought she was totally fine.

But I saw her, on the edge of the bed, rocking herself back and forth, back and forth. Like an old grandfather clock's pendulum, slow, but on time, every time. And she whimpered. I was scared for her.

(0.0) Angel (0.0)

First Max flew off, now Iggy!

Gazzy wanted to search for them, Nudge wanted to sit down and cry, and all I wanted to do was pull out my hair and scream.

"Okay, guys. Calm down. I'm sure they'll be back soon." I tried to reassure them.

"WHAT!? NO! We need to FIND THEM!!" Gazzy yelled at me, his hands fisted and stuck straight down. He loolked so frustrated, his face was bright red.

Nudge was crying now, tears streaming down her face. She ripped up the grass by her side, roots and all. She stood up and started to run towards the woods.

"No, Nudge, come back!" I raced after her and caught her by the legs just as she took off. She fell to the ground, wings crumpled between us. I spit feathers out of my mouth. "Gazzy! Help me hold her!" He raced to help.

I held down her legs and Gazzy pinned her down. He growled at her.

"Sit. Still. And wait." She was still moving so he put his fingers on her neck, close to her shoulder. He pressed his thumbs in and she whined, sitting still.

We waited like that for about ten minutes. Iggy landed next to us and pulled Gazzy off of Nudge. Max came in a second later, her face slightly blotchy.

She walked towards them, Iggy was hugging Nudge lightly, Gazzy was running around, saying we needed to hurry up and get looking for Fang and Fi. Max was walking slowly, I walked up to her and hugged her tight.

"Crying?" I asked, low, for her ears only. But of course, there was no gaurantee that Iggy hadn't heard. She nodded slowly, still staring off into the distance.

Iggy set us up, flying in circles, wider and wider. We all let out our wings and took off, a big mass of feathery humans, bursting into the night sky.

(0.0) Iggy (0.0)

I heard the whoosh of wings coming around next to me. I heard shallow breathing. I heard her whisper.

"They're..gone. It's been hours. We'll never find them."

"Max. You have to believe it. You have to believe we'll find them or we never will. I know we can," I whispered, just as low. Our wings beat, slow and in time with each other. She sighed and drifted off aimlessly.

I kept up my circles, doubting I'd ever find anything despite what I had told Max. I listened and heard her far off wing beats. I hurried to catch up with her. The wind spun as she turned to face me.

"What-" I cut her off. I kissed her lightly and quick, then darted away. I had surprised her. I smiled to myself. That's what I'm supposed to do, isn't it?

(0.0) Max (0.0)

My fingers flew to my lips. I sighed, wishing he had stayed. I wanted another one. I watched him fly away with a smile spread across my face. I must have looked like an idiot, drifting in the wind. I turned around and set off once again on the circling and the searching.

My thoughts ran away with me, on and on about the kiss. I thought he meant it. Maybe he was just trying to make me feel better. Maybe he wanted to make himself feel better.

I couldn't let myself think that way. I shook my head clear of the negative thoughts and a new one glittered in the corner of my mind, shoved away long ago so I wouldn't have to think on it too much.

_What if he actually loves me._

It was insane, but I remembered the way we talked, privately, all the times he comforted me. And I had always loved him. I just hadn't realized it yet.

I was going to tell him.

Yes, I was determined too.

But I never got the chance because Fang barreled into me, bloody, bruised, crying and yelling.


	4. Chapter 4

Wow. Third Chapter. I like how this story is going!!

Disclaimer: Sad to say, but James Patterson has beat me to the punch...

**Chapter Three**

**Sight**

I was thrown back from his momentum, he glanced off of me and kept falling, breaking branches on his way through the trees. Angel, Gazzy, Nudge, and Iggy rushed towards my area, flying as fast as they could. I watched Angel and Gazzy nosedive into the branches, Iggy coming close to a halt next to me.

He paused only a second to wrap his arms around my waist and he turned us upside down and brought his wings in, freefalling.

Free falling with me.

We crashed through the branches, Iggy shielding me and hitting the branches with his shoulders. We fell to the ground with a thud, he had turned so he was below me and he took all the force of the hit.

I kissed him loosely, light enough to let him know I was still nervous about it all. He slid out from underneath me and pulled me to my feet. We ran in the direction of Angel's sobs, a few miles away. Iggy ran as close to me as he could and we separated only to make way for trees.

We finally reached Fang, he was getting to his feet, Nudge and Gazzy pushing him down to the ground. I looked all around and there was a trail through the branches, where there were none. A huge tunnel, blazing a trail to the dark night sky.

(0.0) Angel (0.0)

I watched as Fang was stitched up. Iggy was crying, Max was crying, I was crying, everyone cried. It was a cry-athon and we were all winning. Fang kept yelling to let him go, we needed to get Fi, needed to find her. Nudge, Gazzy and I couldn't do anything and Fang scared us so much we wouldn't have been able to do anything besides cry.

Stars twinkled out at us from the tops of the trees. Fang finally settled down and we made camp; a fire and the hard ground for warmth and a bed. He fell asleep, twitching and talking, almost yelling, in his sleep. Iggy couldn't do anything for food, the picnic basket was back at the clearing, miles away.

Plans were made. A recon, finding Fi and bringing her back.

(0.0) Iggy (0.0)

I couldn't do anything. The whole situation was out of all of our hands. If we wanted to get my sister it would take months. If we stayed here, they could come and try to take us too. The only solution was to head back to the house and see if anything there could help us.

We set out in the morning. We flew in the direction of the house until we found the trail. I guessed which way to go and we eventually found ourselves at the door.

"Okay, Fang, relax. I want you to stay here and look around the living room. Angel, search the bedrooms. Gazzy, you have the bathrooms and library. I want Nudge in the kitchen. Iggy, you come with me. We're looking for anything that might help us at all, get to work, be thorough and fast if you can."

Max's commanding voice ordered us all around again. My mouth curved until it was a slight smile. I followed Max's footsteps down the hallway.

Angel and Gazzy's footsteps thundered up the stairs, Nudge was sliding her hands around the kitchen table.

I heard Max's feet squeak until she was facing me.

"Iggy, you and I are going to search her workroom. That's the only place anything's going to be, so let's get to it."

The wood tapped, her feet barely touching the steps. My own were just as light, trying to hear the direction of her steps.

We turned into a room, supposedly my sister's workroom. I skimmed my fingers over the ratty assortment of books, feeling the indentations of the embossing.

_Pentagrams and Summoning. _

_The Dark Beyond._

_The Hidden and the Lost._

_Spells for Thought._

_Heal Wounds, Fight Battles: Magic can do this, and More for you!_

"Hey, Max. Check this out."

I threw the books towards her, the soft shhhk sounding from her hands every time she caught one.

"I guess she was lying about the professor," she commented dryly. True, she had known more than she had told us about. Maybe the professor was the only one who knew about these books.

"Yeah, but the spells thing…it's a little weird. Maybe she didn't want us to know."

I nodded slightly, enough to say maybe, maybe not.

(0.0) Max (0.0)

Books, one after the other, on spells and magic. I didn't think she hadn't known about these. I opened them and flipped through, looking for anything we could use.

One page caught my eye.

_Restoring Sight_

I gaped, reading fast. Two books that Iggy had thrown at me hit me, the third I dodged, letting it fly into the bookcase behind me. He stopped throwing and walked to me fast, concern on his face.

"What's wrong?" His face peered down into mine, cloudy eyes wide.

I could barely talk.

"This…the book…it…eyes…you'd…You'd be able to…to see!?" I managed to stutter out. Iggy's mouth dropped, his face went slack as he fell to the ground.

"Do…magic…"

I got the point of his broken words and sat down next to him. He hugged me with both arms, twisting me until I was facing him. The book was between us, preventing us from getting closer. I was thankful for it. Just being this close to him sent my heart into a stutter, random beats.

"You need to have magic, but I think you can do it…"I skimmed my finger down the page. All it said was a few words, nothing freaky. And he had magic. It was possible.

"What could go wrong?" I read on.

"Nothing that's not wrong already…" He sighed, his breath warm on my face.

"You…you want to try it?" His voice was unsteady, asking for reassurance.

I couldn't tell him yes, but I couldn't say no either. I wanted him to see. He was fine like this. Seeing would be hard. He'd have to relearn everything, and everything would have…._color_. He'd be able to see me, and I wanted that so bad.

"Do _you_ want it." It wasn't a question, but it lay hanging in the air as we sat silently, hugging.

(0.0) Iggy (0.0)

_Sight_.

I wanted to see. I wanted to see my Max, know how beautiful she was without the blindness between us. I wanted to see the sky, see clouds. I wanted to be able to look and say what things are without searching for them and feeling them.

"Yes. Would you be okay with it?" I was nervous. Maybe she didn't want me to be able to see her. She was so insecure since…yeah. Since.

"Iggy…I do and I don't. Do you want to be able to see me or not?" The question tilted slightly as she turned her face away from me. I gently grabbed her chin and pulled it around to see me. I wanted her to watch me talk. My eyes couldn't do the talking for me, but my face could.

"I want to see your face. I want to be able to see if you're crying. I want to know how you feel without tracing your face. I want to be able to see your bad hair days," I smiled, laughing a bit. I felt her smile and I wiped the tears away from her cheeks. I kissed her forehead, "So come on. Let's do this."

She kissed me, a deep one. She pushed against my lips and opened her mouth, letting me in. I could feel her shoulders shift and her hands came to my face as she leaned into me, wrapping my arms tighter around her.

I sighed and pulled away, keeping my arms tight around her until she turned around in my arms and picked the book up again.

"Yeah. We're wasting time."

(0.0) Max (0.0)

I read the words, clear and to him. My mind wasn't entirely on the spell until I heard Iggy whispering, chanting, louder and louder. Light blazed around him, glowing yellow, gold, orange, and a bang sounded in my ears, the light fading to a blinding white light. I kept my eyes open as Iggy writhed, unable to control it.

He kept chanting through the light, the pain showing through his clenched teeth and stiff body. He shook and I almost ran to him, but he kept me back with an outstretched hand.

The light faded, his pain with it, until all there was in the middle of the floor was a scorch mark surrounding Iggy and Iggy, curled up into a tight ball on the floor. He whimpered as I crawled to him and I saw the gashes on his arms. His pants were already bled through, dark red all over the dark blue. I ripped my shirt up, searching for bandages.

"Iggy? Hon, you okay??" Concern ripped through my voice and I realized slightly afterward that I had called him hon of all things.

He gave a lopsided grin and whispered, "Hon…" and grimaced at the pain just saying a word had caused. I felt tears bubble up again and shoved them back. I had to focus on this now.

Fang threw himself in the door and gasped when he saw how bad Iggy was. Angel, Gazzy, and Nudge came next, a second behind Fang.

He landed next to me and started ripping up his own shirt. He started to talk to Iggy as we wrapped Iggy's arms.

"Come on Iggy, you can't leave me too, you have to stay here, for us, the flock, stay here with me. Max needs you, think what will happen without you, a wreck! Come on, you just have to hold on for a few seconds, hang on, hang on…"

Fang was reduced to tears, I talked in his place.

"Iggy. I need you, I need you right now, and you can't leave me."

It went on and on, mumbling and whispering. Iggy passed out from the blood loss until Fang hit him and yelled not to leave him now. Iggy kept mumbling that he loved me, aside all the other nonsense.

_Later_

Iggy's eyes fluttered open and I sprang to his side, wiping his face, leaving Fang to change our improvised bandages for real ones. He muttered to me.

"Max," he sighed, the words fluttering out of his mouth, "You're so beautiful…" It took me a second to realize I was looking at brown eyes, shot through with purple, looking at me dazedly.

I cried, yeah. I hugged Iggy and whispered that I thought he was beautiful too, he laughed for a moment before the pain caught up with him again.

I couldn't believe it. My Iggy could _see_!


	5. Chapter 5

I kind of hate/like this chapter. Don't worry, EVERYTHING is explained later

Disclaimer should go here. Author is too depressed to admit that friggin stupid James frigin Patterson friggin wrote the friggin stupid story FIRST!! AAAAARGGHHHH!! -pulls out hair and screams- pils, pills. Should have remembered. pills, pills

**Chapter Five!!**

**School**

(0.0) Iggy (0.0)

I sighed. Max was everything. She stayed by me until Fang fell asleep with the rest of the flock in the living room. We whispered back and forth, my eyes never leaving her.

"Max…I love you so much…"

Her eyes shone as she replied, "I love you too, Iggy."

She leaned down and hugged me, tight enough that I knew she meant it, but not tight enough that the stitches ripped open again.

Fang, she explained, had sewn me up from what Fi had shown him. My sister had kept secrets, and I was determined to find her.

I kissed her, pulling away reluctantly.

"I…Max…" My thought went unfinished as a huge gust of wind struck the side of the house. I could see the side bend in and realized something.

There was no storm. And the walls were cement. This wasn't just Mother Nature telling us to back off. This was bigger.

Max's eyes grew wide and we yelled.

"Fang, get them awake!!"

"Get up, get out of here!!"

Nobody woke and Max ran to pick up Angel. I groaned and gritted my teeth against the pain. I sat up and easily found Fang's bulk with my new sight.

I grabbed his arm and pulled, let my air out with a gasp. I dragged him almost to the doorway when Max ran back to me. She grabbed his other arm and pulled.

Between the two of us we got Fang's dead weight to the kitchen, where Angel lay on the table.

Max ran, so fast she would have been flying, back to the room and got Gazzy. She gasped at first with the weight, then set her face into a hard stare.

I passed her on my way to the living room and I was just picking up Nudge when the wall gave.

Chunks of cement flew, one hitting my head. They pummeled me, hitting me one after the other. The air had rushed out of me when Max came.

She planted her feet, bracing herself against the wind as it threatened to sweep her away.

She helped me pick up Nudge, her hair flying around her face and old, dead leaves flying around us. We made our slow way to the hall, into protection from the fake wind.

It found us, pressing the walls in, making them burst around us, until there was only a floor to this area of the house.

The second floor was almost caving in when Max saw something.

"Iggy! There!" She shouted, pointing at a dark hollow to the left. It was under the teetering staircase, hard to see through the debris. I followed as she dragged Nudge towards it.

She dropped into the hole and I dropped Nudge in after she was inside.

She scrambled back out and we hurried to the kitchen. What was left of it.

Gazzy and Angel were flying away, their feet in the air and their hands groping something.

I grabbed Gazzy, Max got Angel. We half threw, half dragged them to the hole, and then went back for Fang.

He was being lifted off the ground, his hands reaching out.

Max panicked when it looked like we might not get there in time, jumped, and grabbed Fang's leg.

One side of him jerked down with the weight, I threw my weight onto him, too, my arms wrapping around Max's. She frowned and pulled down with me until we had him onto the ground.

The wind thudded into our backs, hitting us over and over, dragging us down. We barely made it to the hole before the leftovers of the house crashed down, cutting the wind off.

Max and I fumbled clumsily around the slick walls for a light switch, my fingers finding a lightbulb. My hand slid up to catch the switch, light blooming into life, flickering, and strengthening.

Max's face was illuminated, close to mine, and I could smell her breath. Her eyes found mine and we held gazes for a second then turned to the task at hand.

The walls were tiled, white, and the floor looked exactly the same. Lights ranged the ceiling, stripes and columns streaking down the walls.

They were embedded in the floor, covered with thin plastic. It was a blinding white, the one that gave you spots in your eyes.

Lab tables lined the walls, syringes, test tubes, a small lab like the school. Max fell to the ground in a crumpled heap, whimpering.

I collapsed next to her, too stunned to say or do anything. She rocked herself, back and forth, side to side, sobbing now.

I crept to her side and hugged her shaky body to me. She fisted her hands in my shirt and cried, soaking my shirt. I rubbed her back in circles, stroking her hair. She talked, muffled by my shirt.

I nodded, saying yes, yes. It will be fine. Over, and over. She cried and all I thought about was her. She finally stopped crying, letting me mutter into her ear.

"Max. It'll all be okay. We just need to find a way out of this goddamned place…"

Her watery eyes leaned back and looked into mine.

"Are-are you…absolutely…positively…sure?" Her face was worried, her forehead wrinkling and her eyes filled with hope.

I made my voice strong.

"Yes. Absolutely. Positively. Sure."

She nodded slowly and stood up, her eyes staring blankly into the room, at the awakening flock.

Max reached her hand out, seeking mine. I grabbed her fingers and held them, letting her squeeze them as tight as she wanted.

Angel woke first.

"M…Max..?" She rubbed her eyes, clearing the sleep out of them. Her eyes went huge when she saw the whiteness of the room. She broke down and started to cry. I let go of Max's hand and hugged Angel, letting her cry.

"No, Angel, this is definitely NOT the school. We're totally safe, nobody is going to hurt you. Don't worry, don't worry Angel."

"Iggy?"

That was Gazzy. He reached towards the sound of my voice, his hands spread wide and searching. I grabbed him round the shoulders and dragged him to me. He stiffened when he saw the white, the memories hitting him too.

Max still stood, so I yanked sharply on her pant leg. She came back from her little world and went to Nudge.

We had just gotten them all calmed down when Fang woke.

He screamed and started ripping at his hair, throwing everything near him towards the walls. His eyes were spread hugely, wild, crazy, and hungry.

I was at his side in an instant, holding his arms behind him. He started kicking out.

"Max! Help me!" I yelled over his screams. The others scrambled back to the farthest corner, Max knelt and grabbed his legs lightning fast.

He kicked, getting nowhere. His lungs ran out of air and he took a deep rattling breath. I clapped my hand over his mouth quickly, trying to silence him.

He shrieked and bit my hand hard, drawing blood. His mouth ripped away from my fingers as I realized he had drawn a chunk of my hand out.

He snarled and spat it out, growling. He started to yell again.

Footsteps thundered next to us. I could hear them through the walls, rushing either to help or hinder. Either way, I hoped they weren't whitecoats.

I passed out just as they rounded the corner in a flurry of white.

(0.0) Max (0.0)

Nudge, Gazzy, and Angel huddled even closer in the corner, scared. They were more scared than I was. I watched coolly as they drugged Fang, watched as Iggy fainted, watched as they took us to a conference room and expected me to talk to them. That's when I lost it.

(0.0) Iggy (0.0)

I woke to a screaming Max.

"-and you just think you'll save us?? YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT SHE WAS!!"

I guessed they were talking/screaming about Fi. I could see. It shocked me, but I could see Max storming around the room, hands flying around in the air. Two whitecoats were watching her, as I woke one of them turned their attention to me.

He stared, saw that I wasn't putting up a fight, and relaxed. He picked up his pen and started writing notes.

The pen scratched across the paper until I got tired of Max yelling. It was good for her, though. Letting out all her steam and anger.

I stood and caught her, holding her tightly. She twisted, squirmed, and fought against me until she went limp in my arms. Her head settled onto my chest and her arms came to a rest around my ribs. She sighed and started to doze.

I lifted her and settled us into a chair, with Max on my lap.

The whitecoats started to talk and I noticed they were touching bruises on their arms and faces. I smirked.

So my little Max had put up quite a fight.

"I'm Jim."

"I'm John."

"We're going to ask some questions." Jim.

"Are you going to comply?" John.

"If not, we'll have to hurt you." Jim smiled. Jim has a sadistic sense of humor.

I nodded, keeping my eyes on Max. I brushed the hair away from her sweaty face.

"Why are you here, Iggy?" John asked.

"Don't ask questions, I won't tell lies," I replied, smirking at Jim. Not a good idea, but this was the School. "Who are you. I thought we killed the rest of the School."

Jim scribbled, I noticed John didn't have paper. So John was in charge here.

"Who is this school? We are here to help you. We know your situation, we feel the need to help."

"The school. Made. Us. They're gone. But they'll be back. Oh yes, they will be back. Worse than ever, too."

It was true. I knew it all the way down to my bones. If they were going to help they should have been helping, not harming.

I gently ran my fingers through Max's hair, untangling it.

"My question. Where is Fang?" I shot John a suspicious look.

"Safe. He is asleep, as are the others. Why was the girl yelling at us?"

"Max was mad. She does stuff like that when she gets mad. Are you going to let us go?"

"We will help you, then you can go. You could go right now if you wanted," John gestured to the door. I looked between him and the door, suspicious.

"You sure?"

"Yes."

I shifted Max and she sighed, dropping her arms. I lifted her hands up to my neck and she held her wrists together. I stood by the chair for a second, undecided.

I sighed and dropped back into the chair.

"Ok. What do you want?"


	6. Chapter 6

Ack! Sorry peoples!! I haven't been on the Internet in a long time, so please forgive me for not posting this chapter earlier!!

**Chapter Six**

**In the Hellhole**

John leaned forward.

"We want more than you are giving us."

_Tests._

_Needles._

_Questions._

_Torture._

Everything we had gone through before, he was asking us to go through again.

"Nope. Not doing any of your heartless _shit_," I snarled from above Max. She heard my tone and snapped back to consciousness.

She grumbled groggily for a second before she remembered where we were.

"What. The Fucking. _HELL!!_" She screamed, jumping out of my lap and lunging for the whitecoats. I scrambled to grab her arms and restrain her.

She clawed at them, scratching their faces and drawing blood. John slammed her head on the table, knocking her out.

My turn to yell.

"WHAT THE FUCK!! THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!!" I screamed even louder than Max, long enough for my face to turn red.

I was all over them, punching and kicking, until Jim smiled grimly and shot a needle into my arm.

My screams drifted into nothing, all I could hear was someone chuckling, and the last thing I felt was Max in my arms.

La la A/N: Sorry, Max is a little crazy now, Iggy will be narrating temporarily. :(

I heard faint whispers, but it felt like my ears were underwater. They sounded so far away. I struggled to get back out of the water, find out what was nibbling on my hand. I was falling deeper when it barely registered that the nibbling hurt.

I drifted. In and out of consciousness, all over the place.

My first dream was horrible.

I was screaming, until my lungs were out of air, sucking more air in, screaming. My mouth clamped shut when the darkness receded, like fog disappearing. Reaching out to get one last fingerful before saying goodbye.

Max was there, on the corner of a building. The noises of the street were far below, honking cars and people yelling.

I sighed, relieved.

"Max...I thought I wouldn't see you..." I frowned as she grinned hyper hugely, her hair whipping in the wind.

"You didn't. And you won't." She fell backwards, her wings folded around her. I leapt out and tried to grab her, yank her back to here somehow, but my hands missed.

"NO! Maaax!!" I yelled after her, diving. I had almost pulled even with her when the ground rushed up to meet me and I had to pull out of the dive. I watched as Max's head smashed across the pavement, the rest of her body lay still and bent awkwardly.

I crept to her side and felt tears fall from my eyes.

"Max...noo...Max..." I whispered over and over. I held her hands, turning cold between my fingers. In one she held a stitched heart. It was felt, and it was two cracked pieces sewn back together.

I pulled it from her fingers and cradled it close to me, flying to a rooftop. The noise continued below, shouts and car horns.

I slid the heart around between my fingers, touching as much of it as I could. Her name was stitched on the edge, big, small letters.

_Maximum Ride_.

The seams came apart by her name, the heart ripping open to show a piece of paper. I eased it out, noticing paper after paper, all reading _loves Iggy._ All except the last.

_Hates him._

It hurt, reading the words. It made me wish I couldn't see, my fingers my eyes. I let them each flly away, tucking the last two in my pocket.

Hates him. Loves Iggy.

Him. Was it me. Or was it Fang? Was it just something totally made up by my head??

I cried, sobbing, watching the wind whip my tears away.

And suddenly it was dark.

Max was standing almost miles away, reaching out to me. I could see the glitter of her tears slide down her smooth cheeks. I reached out to her. Our fingers almost touched, but she slid back miles more. I angrily shoved up off the ground and flew to her, even though Max raced back more and more until I could not see her again.

"Iggy..." she sobbed, before the ground rushed up to meet me.

"Iggy, Iggy, Iggy, come back, please! I need you here! Iggy!" Max's voice woke me. Her tears were all over me, her eyes were wide and wild. She was shaking, my head in her lap.

I slid my hand up to her face and she fell silent, leaning into my hand. The tears pooled in my palm as she sighed, a small smile coming to life.

"Max, It's fine. It'll all be okay, don't worry."

She sighed again, her face going blank. Her eyes were half closed, her mouth not a frown or a smile.

The white glared at me.

We were still in the school, and with Max sliding back into her depression, escaping us, we were never going to get out.

Surrender.

Or be trapped for who knows how long.

My mind whirred, and I could swear it was generating steam. Max wasn't going anywhere and I refused to leave her. I had sight now, I might as well use it.

Angel and Gazzy might be able to get out, but where would they go? Nudge might be able to get out too, but not as easily as the others. Fang was too much of a wreck right now.

We had to figure this out, quick.

Max started to rock herself back and forth, tears bubbling over. I crawled over to her and hugged her close.

She shifted, pushing something back in her pocket. I glanced towards it quietly and saw the handle poking out of her pocket. I sighed.

She shook, her arms wrapped around my ribs. Max's tears were soaking my shirt.

I slid the knife out of her pocket. She pulled away, her watery eyes peering up into mine sadly.

"I'm sorry, Iggy," she whispered. She shouldn't have been saying that to me. I was the one who had left her alone. I had scared her, too. Scared her bad.

Bad enough to cry.

My Max was wounded. Not physically, although she had cuts, but deep down, something had ripped out and it would take more than time to heal.

It would also take love.

Love I was afraid I couldn't give enough of to her.

"Don't worry, Max. Just...I'll help you. We'll get through this, out of here. Me and you, and Gazzy and Nudge and Angel and Fang," I whispered in her ear, smoothing her hair down as she cried into my shoulder. She sobbed, her whole body moving as she cried.

I thought slowly, trying to organize my thoughts.

First thing on the list was making sure the flock, the whole flock, was fine. Fang, I doubted he could do anything in his state. Nudge was more than capable, she could do anything when she was mad enough. Gazzy and Angel could hold their own, I could do better than hold my own. I would have to.

I had to hold Max's own as well.

I had to keep her safe.

There was no question about it.

I had to defend Max, keep her safe.

And alive.

I sighed, my eyes drifting closed. Max's weight was all on me, but it was nothing compared to the bittersweet joy I had.

I could see her, see my Max. I could touch her and know what she looked like. But I could lose it all soon. So soon...

Her breathing evened out, her arms wrapped themselves unconsciously around me. It felt so right, holding her, her holding me.

I ran my fingers through her hair, holding her close, as I fell asleep as well.

(0.0) Max (0.0) (A/n: finally, I am going to write from her perspective. It feels better than Iggy's)

I woke slowly. I could feel Iggy's warmth by me, his arms wrapped around me. I struggled to remember what had happened.

I faintly remembered having my head bashed on a table, and a brief temper tantrum. Euch. And bloody noses.

Iggy, I remembered fuzzily, had been there. He had held me back. Back from...who? From what? Who had I been hitting?

I snuggled deeper into Iggy's arms. He shifted a little. I ran my fingers through his short hair, softly. His eyes fluttered open. I saw him smile when he saw me, and frown all of a sudden.

"Iggy?" I asked. He turned back to me. "Where are we...?" I asked, embarrassed that I had to ask, and couldn't remember much at all. His frown was still glued to his face. I didn't like it.

I reached up and swept my fingers across his lips. His eyes closed halfway and he leaned into my touch. His mouth opened with a snap, he yanked his head away from me. He stood and paced, quickly and frustratedly. He wouldn't look at me, just stare at the wall no matter what I said.

I fell asleep, hours later.

I woke up, once again in Iggy's arms. He was awake this time, staring at me.I lowered my eyes. I leaned forward into him, just a little. I was surprised when he pulled me closer, kissing me. I slid my hand up to the side of his face, making sure he couldn't escape. The other hand went behind his neck, pulling him even closer. I held him stubbornly, even when he pulled away.

"Don't. Leave. Me." I said, gritting my teeth together. I didn't like the feeling of being alone. He stayed obediently, pulling me over so I sat in his lap. He wrapped his arms around me from behind, sticking his nose in my hair. He sighed in satisfaction. I turned my head around as far as it would go so I could look him straight in the eye.

"You worried about me going depresso again?" I asked him softly, trying not to bother him. It did anyway, he leaned his head back and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Yeah. I am. But just because I don't want you to-" he broke off, a sob ripping through. Tears poured down his face.

"I'm sorry Iggy. Sorry, sorry, sorry, Iggy. I-I just can't not do it when I feel like I need to…Sorry, sorry, sorry," I whispered, turning my body around so I could hold him. I ran my fingers through his hair for him, looking into his eyes. I mashed my cheek against his as I hugged him, tight and close, until he stopped crying.

"Max…" he whispered roughly. He held my cheek softly, kissing my forehead, and then my lips. "I can see you, I can see you, and it hurts so much now to see you so sad," He whispered, pulling away. I pulled him back to me.

"I don't have to be sad all the time, you know," I murmured, before kissing him. I traced my fingers slowly and lazily down his chest, pulling up the edge of his shirt.

He stopped me with a hand. "Are you sure?" He asked, breathless. I nodded back, pulling his head down for another kiss. He refused, jerking his head away. "Absolutely?" He asked, again, breath wavering. I nodded, yanking him down with all my strength for a kiss, trailing them up his jaw and down his neck before coming back for his lips.

"I-am-abso-lutely-sure. That-I love-you," I murmured in between kisses. He kissed me, pulling my shirt off.

"I-love-you-more." He stated, pulling away fractionally for each word before plunging back in for another kiss.


	7. AN: I NEED YOUR HELP!

Hey!

Peoples!!

This is an author's note. I am sticking it onto both of my stories because I want to say sorry to all of you!

I'm also sorry if any who are reading this right now thought this was going to be another chapter. I'm sorry, because the next chapters in both of my stories will take a while.

I haven't been posting letely, and I can't think of where to take these stories, or how to get them there.

If anyone has suggestions, because I do want **Experiment Number 1668369** and **Knives Hurt Worse** to continue. If you want to try your hand at typing a whole chapter, try it and send it to me. I will post it and give you your due credit, just anything to keep these stories going!

My email is on both my blogs and my profile, and if you don't want to email, pm me.

Email me and tell me anything, anything, just if YOU want one or both of these stories to keep going, you need to tell me and help out because of the major case of writer's block I have right now.

HELP!

HELP FI, MAX, FANG, AND IGGY'S STORY CONTINUE!!


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